Friday, June 23, 2006
life, the universe, and everything
Nevermind that the answer is 42, and the question of "what is 6 times 9?" actually equals 42 in chaotic math, or that if you haven't read (or possibly watched) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you have no idea what I'm talking about. Nevermind that 42 is the numerical value of one of the main Hebrew names of God. And nevermind that I missed a post last week, as I was busy contemplating the answer of life, the universe and everything.
Now that you don't mind...
reflecting is the easy part
Preparing for our vacation in Boulder, Co the first week of July has kept us pretty busy; if not in action, then in thought. The thought of moving there come January has kept the idea of a fresh start, new journeys, and renewal on the forefront of my mind.
I think my ongoing conversation with Nadine about the studio is finally starting to sink in. Pursuing the "quick money" that the studio could bring in has me distracted from what I love doing. It also has yet to give real results. But it that struggle between the fear of actually doing what I love to do and the hope of the studio making a quick buck that I have dealt with for going on 6 years now. These last couple of weeks have helped me to cut out some of the clutter of that struggle. And as time goes on, I hope that the struggle continues to get easier for me.
I often written on pursuing your passion, doing what you love, overcoming fear or depression and other obstacles. I also done a heck of a lot of studying, reading and writing on principle-centered or value-driven living, inter-personal relationships, counseling, spirituality, Judaism (an amazing resource for spirituality and social-action), restoring/healing the soul, and restoring/healing the world. I've also read and studied a library's writh of books on business, how to start, run, manage, market, expand, multiply, invest, etc... But it has taken me several years to begin to integrate the first group with the business group.
Now I feel as though I'm standing at the edge of a new frontier once again. Only this time, I'm doing my best not to turn around and go the other way again.
why I want to be a hedgehog
Jim Collins mentioned in one of his many excellent books, From Good to Great, that one must have a "hedgehog concept" to align to. To explain, the hedge-hog is so focused upon what it is doing that the world around it becomes almost non-existent. I believe the idea is from an old Greek parable that says, "The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing." He goes into quite a bit more detail, which I believe he included on his website as well, and I hope what follows will clarify a bit more.
Focus is the key of this concept, but focus on what? We would all like to focus on what brings us the most happiness. And if it pays our bills, all the better, not to mention easier! Collins asks 3 simple questions that give the answer to what focus will bring about the most productive and enduring focus. If something sits outside this focus, it is a distraction, and most likely keeping us from success. What I found is that though Collins intended this for business, once I started and continued asking it about myself, everything started falling into place. I will try and recollect in my own words...
1. What can you be the best in the world at?
What about not best in the world at? "Best" means just that too, The Best.
2. What brings the money?
I think he described it as "drives your economic engine", but I understood it more to mean what can support itself financially, and leave room to grow.
3. What are you passionate about?
I've asked this all too often. Who are you at your core? What "gets you going"? The part I missed was asking the other 2 questions with equal measure.
"To have a fully developed Hedgehog Concept, you need all three circles. If you make a lot of money doing things at which you could never be the best, you'll only build a successful company, not a great one. If you become the best at something, you'll never remain on top if you don't have intrinsic passion for what you are doing. Finally, you can be passionate all you want, but if you can't be the best at it or it doesn't make economic sense, then you might have a lot of fun, but you won't produce great results."
http://www.jimcollins.com/lab/hedgehog/p2.html
missing the mark
Here's my mistake... Music is not a specific passion. It's very general. What I began to realize is that I've been avoiding what I really love to do in order to focus on what's bringing in the money. The money, however, has not been brought in. I can be a great "studio engineer", but doing it because I kinda like to and because I thought it could make a lot of money quickly kept me off balance.
I could be a great at indie-rock, solo stuff. It doesn't really get me excited though. Sorry folks, it doesn't look like an album of my music in this genre is going to be forthcoming. However, I'm seriously considering going ahead and recording my favorite songs, and sending them off to some music libraries. If a famous artist picks one up, I'm more than happy to see someone else go far with it. Trying to push myself to write this stuff when I want to be doing something else is very frustrating.
Outside of music, I love spiritual counseling, Judaism, and massive amounts of study in the areas I mentioned near the beginning of this post. I considering becoming a Rabbi, studying Jungian or Transpersonal Psychology, getting certified to teach Nonviolent Communication, and several other things along that line. I may still do them all, but not as a pursuit more than at my liesure.
I've mentioned before that I love producing. I may still write beats for some artists that have approached me for Hip-Hop, Raggae, and R&B, but what I love is acting as an old-school A&R Rep or producer - signing an artist, developing them, pulling the best out of them, recording them at their best, shopping them, and generally boosting their career.
I also love writing and performing in a few different yet complimentary genres... hardcore, industrial, symphonic, soundtrack, and other music that may help to engross you in your favorite video game, sci-fi movie, or nine inch nails concert. Yes, I said it... or at least I used to find nine inch nails inspiring. Reading the story of how he got started, I feel very encouraged in pursuing this passion.
a culmination of many conversations
After many talks with friends, years of chasing after psuedo-dreams, many failures, much frustration, and a lot of barriers and fears (with more yet to come), I believe that my hedgehog concept is coming into balance. Being a producer, composer and musician in the genres I mentioned highly compliment one another. Also, the spiritual and social-action endeavors fit into this as well. I absolutely love doing it for its own sake, I can be damn good at it (not to be conceited), and it can pay the bills and then some(with a slow but enduring build up).
The other stuff compliments the core focus, but I want to keep them at a hobby's distance. I can do them for fun, but focusing on them pulls me away from being productive and seeing my dreams become reality. The 3 questions have been difficult to find a balance between, and I hope to keep asking them so that I keep the balance that I have begun to find.
I hope that writing about my journey helps you on yours. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of running like a fox. "Jack of all trades, master of none." What is your hedgehog concept?
