Thursday, August 17, 2006
A month of something or other
I hope that in my posting my journey, someone out there is being offered a helping hand on theirs.
I haven't posted in a month for many reasons. Planning the move to Colorado, getting a grasp on or rather learning about this thing called Reactive Attachment Disorder (not me), preparing and planning financially for a newborn, considering jobs since Nadine will be at home shortly, and trying to truly launch being a Record Producer have all played a role in my month off from blogging. Probably the most direct reason being that I have a strong desire to change blogs to something that fit where I am in life now, in name and style. I'm exploring having my own domain, and a very customized blog, but that may not come until The Music Company is ready for launching its own webpage as well. Its myspace is decent, but myspace has many drawbacks, and I feel it cannot represent the company properly.
I started writing songs again. My style has changed significantly since my last round of songs. Plus, losing my favorite pieces due to a simultaneous file save and lightening strike didn't help to motivate my starting again. I'm excited about it now. I've also seemed to have picked up all the right books to encourage me in pursuing my dreams again, as well as help me overcome the emotional rut I've been in.
Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man -by Sam Keen
Keen's book helped me to know where my motivations and fears were coming from -from women, to upbringing, to cultural and social influences. It also helped me in being able to be truly present. That is, it helped me to be completely honest with myself about myself and my emotions, as well as be truly in touch with the world around me. It is both amazingly freeing, and incredibly painful. Plus, I've always loved Jungian Psychoanalysis, especially when presented in a manner that can help anyone to overcome fears and be truly themselves.
The Traveler's Gift: Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success -by Andy Andrews
The story in this book was very inspiring. I found the way the book wrapped up to be a bit on the cheesy side, but the bulk of the book was very helpful on my journey and getting on my feet again. At the opening of the story, the main character finds himself in a crisis. Like most of us, a crisis seems to effect everything and spread -financially, healthwise, career, and everything seems to keep crumbling around us. I immediately identified with his fears. He then travels through time, in a surprisingly not cheesy manner, and gains valuable insight from conversations with several historical figures. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversations, and believe that they served to ingrain a strange inspiration in me. Each conversation ended with an fictional essay of sorts from the historical figure describing one of 7 decisions for personal success. The first book I had read made it so that reading this book was perfect timing for me. It truly helped me to be ready and excited about moving forward again, despite my fears.
Second Acts: Creating the Life You Really Want, Building the Career You Truly Desire -by Stephen M. Pollan and Mark Levine (2004)
A perfect follow up once again, Pollan's book has been not an inspiration, but a coach. Pollan is a "Life Coach" by trade -his own second act. The book is filled with stories of famous people who use dto be common, and common people who are now living a life they love (many of Pollan's clients). The stories are only the "icing on the cake", however; the core of the book is Pollan doing what he does best, helping you find your own answers -from what it is you would love to do with your lofe, to overcoming your fears and obstacles, to setting up a unique yet free-flowing plan. I am only half way through this book, and it has amazed me. I've read several book on "living the life you love" before, and this one is the first that I feel is truly helping me find myself on this journey.
I'm re-ordering a lot in my life right now, and re-prioritizing as well. I've avoided what I truly want to be with dim reflections of that person. I circumvented bring a full-time musician and Record Producer (truly helping other artists) by being an Engineer and pushing the recording studio. Ofcourse, this was doomed to fail, since it's not what I really wanted. I also put off a lot because of fear of losing it due to the move, the baby, finances, and possibly getting a job that pulls me away from it. I've used many distractions along the way, from my music, to recording bands, to being an at home Dad, and many more. I find it humorous how most of us tend to avoid what we truly want in life. I more than understand the fears surrounding that battle, but when I really think about it, I chuckle a little.
I'm beginning to surround myself with people who live motivated lives and those who are encouraging. I'm also actively seeking out those that I can learn from on this journey. I'm excited about meeting with a local Producer this weekend. I feel hopeful as I take my first steps towards what I really want to do in life.
